I was dating a guy from August to early January. We never really called it dating because from the get-go we knew I was moving to a new city in January for grad school. But we continued to get really close. I met his friends and he met mine, including my sister. It was never fully dating, like going to get dinner or drinks, but it was more than just physical. We’d text a lot, exchange communication through social media every day, and FaceTime on mornings we couldn’t spend with each other. I think it was obvious to all of our friends that we had real feelings for each other.

When I moved to the new city in January, we kept in touch. We kept up the texting, social media exchanges, and even FaceTime, but it all became too much for me. I started getting more upset if he didn’t respond to a text. That would feed my anxiety, and I never vocalized that I was getting upset. After all, we were never dating so I didn’t feel like I could set expectations or ask anything of him.

In February, I explained to him that I couldn’t continue this. It didn’t make sense – I would be away for the foreseeable future, and neither of us wanted to commit to a long-distance relationship. I asked if we could stop talking, that way maybe it’d hurt less. He agreed, and let me be … for about a month. When everything with COVID-19 unraveled, I travelled back home to quarantine with my family. He knew this, reached out, and asked if we could see each other. I thought it’d be OK to catch up – but it wasn’t. Everything was different. He didn’t ask much about my new life or express interest, and the next morning he was more distracted with emails than maintaining a conversation with me. It was all very detached and honestly, it really upset me. Everything sort of came to a head the next week when we FaceTimed, had a fight, and I hung up. In my anger, I deleted him from some social media. He must have realized because he didn’t reach out … for weeks.

It’s been two months since all of that, and I still think about him and miss him. He’s reached out three times, but has never acknowledged the fight, only through Instagram DMs reacting to a story of mine. It’s so hurtful that he knows he’s upset me and doesn’t want to acknowledge it, even if it means losing me in his life in its entirety. All of my friends think he’s just emotionally immature, and maybe he is. Some think I just fell for a person who never cared about me. I’m just really confused by his actions – or inactions – and was hoping you could help shed some light.

– Confused