It doesn’t sound like you need to break up with her. She’s distancing herself anyway, right?

Perhaps she’s creating this space because she has sensed your discomfort for the past few months. Maybe she’s reading the room.

This is a good thing. You need a break and you’re getting one. 

Regardless of the state of your friendship, it might help to forgive her, if you can. It can be an internal decision that no one ever knows. This person hurt you by taking part in someone else’s infidelity. She’s not in a good place to make healthy decisions. People go through these phases and learn.

It’s possible the two of you will find your way back to the friendship, and you’ll both have done the work to accept each other in a new era. No rush on that.

Remember, her cheat was not yours. She didn’t do the exact same thing to you that someone else did. It reminded you of your experience with infidelity, but it was not the same. All relationships – and betrayals – are their own thing. 

It might be easier to forgive if you believe that. Your journey was your own and she had nothing to do with it.

– Meredith

Readers? Are you able to detach a friend’s choices from your feelings about them? What should the LW do about this friendship?

Is there something on your mind about a relationship in your life? A friendship? A crush? A spouse? A breakup? Send your own question. Help others wondering the same thing. Use the form – or email [email protected].