I Didn’t Tell Him I’m Pregnant
Hi. I’m giving away 10 pairs of tickets to an early screening of the last “Fifty Shades” movie in Boston. If you would like to bring a friend to this screening (next Wednesday), enter here. We can eat popcorn together, and I will do my Christian Grey impression for you after it’s over. I’m very good at it.
Q.Dear Meredith,
Long story short, I was in a long-term relationship for eight years. It began in my hometown and we moved to another state. It did not work out and we went through a rough, prolonged breakup. I returned to my hometown and it took me a good year to get over him.
After about a year, I found a new love that came very natural to me. Now I’ve been in this relationship for a little over a year, and I’m pregnant. I’m very much in love with my current boyfriend.
But after two years of being away, my ex has moved back to our hometown and wants us to get back together. I made it clear I was enjoying my new relationship, but no matter what I said during our conversation when he returned, he was sure I would go back to him. I did not tell him I’m pregnant; I guess I thought about how hurt he would be. And after he came over to spill his feelings, I just couldn’t say the words.
Now I’m not sure how to go about ripping off the Band-Aid. Especially since I missed my prime opportunity. I’m very wrong in my decision to have kept quiet … and I’m not sure what it is I am afraid of. I do believe that even if things did not work out in my current relationship, I would not get back with my ex. When I closed that door, I had no intention of re-opening it.
– Moved On
A.You missed one opportunity to tell your ex the big news, but there will be more. You weren’t ready to share during that particular moment – and that’s OK.
You said it best: Even if this new relationship fails, you do not want to reunite with him. It’s not as though the baby is the reason you’re not together. All you owed him in that moment was the clarity of a “no,” and it sounds like you gave it to him.
It’s possible that you don’t want to tell him about the pregnancy in person – and sometimes writing is a lot easier. You’re allowed to send him an email with the news if that’s less daunting. You can tell him that you hope you were clear during his visit, and that as much as you want him to be happy, you’ve moved on and have new priorities.
Just know that you don’t have to send some big apology. You wrote in your letter that you were “very wrong” to keep quiet, but that’s not true. He’s your ex, and this is your news to share – whenever it feels right.
– Meredith
Readers? Should she even share this news?
Be civil. Be kind.
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