Dear Meredith,

I’m a 40-year-old single female. I just started seeing a man I dated for three years 13 years ago. We’ll call him TJ. I ended the relationship because I was committed and he was not. There was never any infidelity that I know of, but I hardly saw him. A year or so after the breakup, we reconnected and remained friends, speaking on the phone periodically. I went on to have a relationship that lasted for about a decade. That relationship ended more than a year ago.

A couple of months ago, TJ and I decided to date again. He assured me that things would be different and that if given another opportunity he “would make things right.” We decided that we would take it slow and take the time to get to know each other. We’ve been hanging out and things have been wonderful.

Two weekends ago he called me and said he wanted to see me. He was headed somewhere with his son and I was at a family party. He stated that he wanted to get together later in the evening and go for a walk on the beach. I told him that I was excited and would be looking forward to it. He said he would call me when he was ready to meet me. I waited and waited and waited … and then nothing. I texted him that night letting him know that I was really looking forward to the walk and that I hoped that everything was OK, but he didn’t respond. I waited to hear from him the next day but no calls or texts. I didn’t reach out to him because I didn’t want him to feel as though I was harassing him. The following day (two days after the proposed walk) he called me and carried on as though nothing ever happened. I asked if everything was all right and he confirmed that everything was fine and proceeded to tell me that he went to a cookout and that he had a great time. I asked why had he not communicated with me, and he became furious and with a raised voice said, “If you really wanted to go that bad then you should’ve called me!”

I tried my best to be understanding, but I could not get a word in edgewise. Fearful that I would become upset, I asked him to have a good day and disconnected the call. Moments later I received a text stating that this was not going to work and that if I can’t bring joy and happiness to his life he didn’t want to be bothered with me. Then he wished me the best. My response was “goodbye.” I never want to see him again! He can go kick rocks as far as I’m concerned. I just want to know, did I overreact? I keep replaying the scenario in my head over and over trying to figure out what I did that would justify his behavior… I got nothing!

– Lost in the sauce