A.

“How do I allow my soul to let another human partner in my life again …?”

I have no idea. I’m overwhelmed by the question and I’m not even you!

Let’s try removing the word “partner” from the equation. As in,“Is it possible for me to allow my soul to go on a few dates and have some fun?”

That’s a much smaller ask, and I think it’s doable. I feel like your soul can get behind a beverage, food, and good conversation.

The thing is, you might not want a life partner for another year or two – or maybe ever. It’s possible you’ll need more time before you know what you like after the last five years.

It’s a lot easier to take steps when they’re tiny. If you can’t conceive of a bunch of life changes, focus on what you can do – which is probably more than you think.

I also recommend checking out some support groups for ongoing help. Therapy is great, but you also might benefit from talking to a bunch of cancer survivors who are figuring out how their lives and relationships have changed.

I apologize in advance for being too glass-half-full about this, by the way. I know it’s not easy, and I hope I’m not being reductive about a complicated healing process.

But I read your letter and think, “I bet this person is strong and resilient. It sounds like they have so many reasons to be proud of where they are.”

I’m an outsider. It’s easier for me to imagine all that you’ve become.

Which brings me to another idea: maybe you need a few new friends who can get to know you as you are now – and love you for it. That might bring more good days.

But please, readers who’ve been through similar kinds of relationships and health journeys, can you share how you found yourself again? And how you managed to find love with someone new? Thanks.

– Meredith