Hi Meredith,

I dated a woman for seven years and we were so much alike it was scary. We both had children from previous relationships. Things were great for the first few years, but as time went on, we constantly argued. About 2.5 years ago we made a once-in-a-lifetime trip, and it was a disaster. While we enjoyed being there, we couldn’t get along. Shortly after returning, I broke it off. It was very painful to say the least, and after a month or so we got back together. However, I felt the damage was done and that I couldn’t give her what she ultimately wanted (moving in together) so I broke it off again. That did not go over well, but I felt we’d both be better off in the long run. At the time she asked that I block her from all social media and avoid any mutual places we would frequent, as she didn’t want the pain of seeing me.

I did as she asked and I have not seen her since that time. However, in these two-plus years, I have pretty much thought about her almost every day. There are reminders everywhere. I have been dating someone for a year who has been great, but I cannot stop thinking about this other person. I miss her terribly, but at the same time I don’t miss the “not getting along” part. I try and remind myself of the misery that led to me breaking it off, but a day later or hours later I am back to thinking about her. How do I move on from this? Am I losing my mind? Torturing myself for no reason?

– Torturing myself