A coronavirus-related question for you, Meredith.

My boyfriend and I ended our relationship two weeks ago. We are both still very much in love with each other, but a few months ago I was offered a job overseas with a humanitarian organization that was a great career boost for me. He didn’t want to stand in the way of my professional aspirations, but he also didn’t want to be in an indefinite long-distance relationship, which I totally understand and respect.

On the day I left my home country, we parted ways very amicably and with a lot of sadness. We initially agreed we would go no-contact so that we would each be better able to move on, but the adjustment from being best friends and partners to nothing at all has been tough. We’ve ultimately had a few short, friendly conversations via Whatsapp. Each time I reached out first, but each time he also said he was happy I did.

In these two weeks, however, so much has changed in the world because of COVID-19: countries closing their borders, my family and friends at risk, daily life changed completely. I’m working in a new job, in a conflict zone, away from my loved ones, which is all hard enough as it is, and I wish I could reach out to him more to check in on him, as well as to have someone to talk to about these things. I assume he is social distancing and working from home, but I don’t even know. My parents are elderly and extremely vulnerable with underlying health issues; if they get sick I will be prohibited from returning to my country, which is a horrible and stressful feeling. I just feel very alone and upset and need a friend to process this with.

Can and should I reach out to him more (i.e. phone calls)? Or is that a terrible idea that will derail our breakup? I would not be doing this with the idea of getting back together with him at all, however if I’m honest, I would certainly be using our emotional closeness as a crutch. But emotional closeness feels necessary right now.

– Overseas