Breakup Before His Birthday

Tuesday | March 17, 2015

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

Breakup Before His Birthday

I almost feel silly writing this, however I wanted the opinion of a complete outsider. I have been dating a man for about four years. We have a lot of great history … and some not so good history. Most recently, in the last six months, I found out that he was cheating on me. His best friend confirmed it then tried to hit on me. As a result they are no longer in contact because my boyfriend won’t talk to him.

During the last six months there have been multiple occasions where I have confirmed that he has been cheating. And during this time, I got pregnant and ended the pregnancy. I know that the woman he had been cheating with is 23 and has three kids. He is 30 and I am 32. I have had to block her from calling my phone and contacting me on social media.

The night before Valentine’s Day, he came over to my house really late, and at about 5 a.m. the phone rang, and I saw it was the girl he cheated on me with. I didn’t answer it but I did go through his phone and saw everything from naked pictures from her to messages to other women on his social media page. I’ve tried to get over it but I’m really ready to let go. I know what the obvious answer is, but this is my question:

I am not responding to any of his calls or messages. It’s only been two days and I won’t respond to him. But is it wrong to skip an event I was supposed to attend with his family this weekend for his birthday? I am just struggling with the bad timing.

– Bad Timing

Forget his birthday. Forget his family. Make other plans for yourself this weekend so that you’re not tempted to reach out. If you catch yourself wanting to make that call, go back and read this letter.

When we end a big relationship, we forfeit family events, birthday celebrations, concert tickets, and all other plans. Down payments are lost. Flights are rescheduled. That’s just how it works. Really, there are holidays pretty much every month so there’s never an easy time to deal with a breakup.

I do fear that deep down, you’re thinking of this two-day silence as a punishment instead of an ending. Make sure you see it for what it really is — a fresh start.

Readers? Birthday? Bad timing?

– Meredith

Family 🖤 Cheating Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

I broke up with an ex right before Christmas and it was hard. I thought about bringing him to my family party because I didn’t want to explain to them why he wasn’t there. I ended up just saying he had to work and waited until later to explain. But this is HIS family and he should be the one worried – not you.

? quicktojudge Share Thoughts