It’s a little uncomfortable, but this can happen when you date friends of friends. You’re bound to run into some familiar faces. It’s a small world, after all.

It doesn’t sound like you have any issues with the mutual friend hanging out with your ex. If that’s the case, you should be able to deal with other people (your boyfriend) knowing him, too. You don’t mention feeling limited by the situation – like you can’t go out with your boyfriend without running into your ex. As long as you can develop your own community with him, you should be OK.

This might feel like a smaller deal if you can refrain from making assumptions about what your boyfriend hears when he’s out in a group with this ex. You say he’s “poking through” your past, but is that even close to what’s happening? Do you really think your boyfriend asks your ex about your previous relationship – or that he does anything more than nod and smile at the guy?

If you truly believe that your current boyfriend is using these outings to study your ex, that’s another issue. But it sounds like he’s in the room with the guy, sharing mutual companions, trying to be nice. You can feel weird about it, but don’t make it more important than it is.

– Meredith

Readers? Would this bother you?