Am I Her Rebound?

Wednesday | July 5, 2017

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

Am I Her Rebound?

I’ve been seeing this woman for about two months now, and things have moved pretty quickly. We’re spending a lot of time with each other and sleeping together four to five nights a week. We have great, lengthy conversations, laugh a lot, and each of us has shared intimate details with the other.

But she just broke up with her boyfriend of two years, and we started seeing each other right after it ended. This makes me think that she may just be used to being with a significant other, and that I could just be a rebound.

I really want to have a more defined relationship with her, but when I have brought it up, she says she just wants to be single for awhile. While I understand this, and the fact that she just got out of a long-term relationship, it is hard for me to hear because of how much I like her. In some ways, it doesn’t matter all that much since we hang out a lot, but at the same time, the uncertainty is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress.

What should I do? I feel like after two months of spending so much time together, things should naturally get more serious. Should I just be patient? Or am I setting myself up for disappointment?

– The Rebound?

I can’t help but roll my eyes at people who say they want to be single when they’re clearly in a relationship – the ones who say they want to be alone, even though they’re in bed, expecting to be spooned.

But … I’ll give her a pass. Something tells me that what she really means is that she doesn’t want to be someone’s significant other right now. She just wants to show up, have a nice time, and then leave. She’s not ready for accountability, and that’s understandable.

If you’re enjoying the status quo and can put up with some uncertainty, you should continue this and see how it goes. Really, it’s only been two months, and you’re still getting to know each other.

But in another month or so, assuming the routine continues, you can ask her how she sees you in her life. She doesn’t have to sign on for forever; all you need to know that she’s open to letting this grow.

– Meredith

Readers? Should this continue? Should the LW take some space? Is three months a better time for questions?

Breakups 🖤