After three years, he moved out

Friday | September 13, 2024

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

After three years, he moved out

I met a man – and then I found out about a month later he was homeless. I let him move in. He was so caring and spiritual. He helped me with my anxiety, taught me to love myself, and always had kind words. I fell in love, but he wanted to remain friends. He said that adding sex to our relationship would bring out too many feelings.

Later I found out his mom treated him badly and that he dated a much older woman at 16.

As our situation progressed, I found out he has no male friends – all women. He would stroll the apartment complex looking for women. We would be at the store and he would walk down the aisles looking for women.

We finally decided to try a relationship; it didn’t last be cause of who he is and because of my trust issues.

Then one day, he finally just up and moved … I believe with some other woman. I’m not hurt, I’m just missing his company so much. Three years of this and he just leaves me.

Oh, I forgot to mention that during those three years, he only worked maybe a year total.

– Alone

You say you’ve learned to love yourself. I hope that’s still true.

If you’re feeling OK about who you are (and you should!), go find company with others. There are all sorts of people out there. Some are great at relationships. Many are looking for the kind of person who wants to hang out and have fun. Why not find them? They’re all over the apps.

Please know that when you meet these people, the connection might feel like a slow burn, even for friendship. I have a feeling your ex-roommate was a magnetic person – the kind of guy who draws you in quickly and makes everything feel necessary. A random nice person might not seem compelling until a third outing.

By the way, a new friend/lover might not need you at all – which would be a good thing. It’s better if they simply want to get to know you.

I hope you can move to the next experience without ruminating too much about the last one. You know what happened and why, and despite some of the good stuff, it’s best he’s gone.

The relationship came with lessons. Take them somewhere else.

– Meredith

Readers? Has this LW done enough soul searching about why the relationship lasted three years? Is it too soon to date again?

Send your own question this weekend by using the anonymous form or email [email protected]. I’m reading.

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Featured Comment

LW, yes loneliness is no fun, many people have been there, but there are things you can do. Keep busy – that is a top priority and that doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Go for walks at nature centers or just in a beautiful area, read books (free from the library, you don’t have to buy them), spend time on projects/tasks you’ve wanted to complete and goals you’ve wanted to accomplish, exercise, join groups to make new friends, etc. This really works, I’ve had to take this advice myself in the past when getting over relationships, you’ll feel good about how you are spending your time and keeping busy allows less “blank” time for you to feel alone. It sounds like you are better off without this guy, so working on the loneliness will put you in a better place and over time you will see you didn’t need him.

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