Holiday Breaks And Breakups

Thursday | December 28, 2017

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

Holiday Breaks And Breakups

We’ll chat next week.

I have been dating a guy for about three years, and we broke up in August. I should say that in the beginning of the relationship, he fought for me so hard, despite my wanting to be a single college student. I finally gave in and we started dating.

This past September, a month after our breakup, he came back and told me he wanted to work on things – but then ended it again. On Halloween, he texted me saying he loved me and that he messed up, and we started talking again.

We go to different schools (we’re about three hours away from each other). We saw each other over Thanksgiving break and it felt so normal and right. We wanted to work on things, and he told me he loved me.

The next day, when I returned to school, he reached out to say he didn’t want anything, but told me it wasn’t anything I did, but rather he needs to work on himself. He is very rude to me in texts now and doesn’t give me much information. Should I give up trying? Or should I show him how much I want this?

– Breaks and Breakups

Seeing as you wrote this letter just before the start of winter break (sorry for the posting delay), I’m going to assume that you and your ex have already seen each other and rekindled things again – because you’re home … and that’s what you do.

If that’s the case, I must advise you to avoid making promises about what will happen next. The two of you continue to assume it has to be all or nothing. Sometimes it’s more honest to say: “It was great to hang out. Let’s play the rest by ear.”

At the end of the day, if you’re really into him, I do think you should give up – because he doesn’t want a commitment right now. Letting go means no more texts. It also means learning to enjoy school without including him in the narrative.

I understand you feel betrayed because he’s the one who wanted to start this relationship, but it’s three years later. He’s allowed to change his mind.

– Meredith

Readers? Keep things up in the air or walk away?

Breakups 🖤