‘There’s No Justice in This World. Not Unless We Make It.’
Our spoiler-heavy recap of season five episode three, “The High Sparrow.’’
This is an episode recap, so spoilers abound—you’ve been warned.
If you expected to see Arya (Maisie Williams) learning assassin skills with Faceless Man Jaqen H’ghar (Tom Wlaschiha) as her sensei, you were probably a little disappointed to see Arya on sweeping duty at the House of Black and White.
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She’s disappointed, too, and tells Jaqen she didn’t cross the narrow sea to sweep his floor. It’s all part of Jaqen’s bigger plan to teach Arya about servitude—the oft-repeated Braavosi phrase “valar dohaeris’’ means “all men must serve,’’ and Jaqen says that this applies to Faceless Men most of all. Arya’s not quite getting it.
“I want to serve!’’ she tells Jaqen.
“A girl wants to serve herself,’’ he answers.
He knows she has a long list of people she wants to kill. She wants to learn to be an assassin for her own needs, but there’s something bigger going on in the House of Black and White. These assassins serve the Many-Faced God, Jaqen tells her, before adding that she knows his name and all men know his gift.
Does he mean death? That would make sense, considering that people keep coming into this strange temple to drink from the fountain and die. When Arya asks where their bodies are being taken, she gets no answer.
I don’t know if we want to know what’s being done with the bodies. Are their faces literally being taken off for the Faceless Men to wear? Are they being made into Soylent Green?
After a confrontation with another servant over whether Arya truly is “no one,’’ Jaqen confronts her about her need to let her past go. She ditches her old clothes and all of the things that belonged to “Arya Stark,’’ in favor of becoming “no one.’’ Almost all of the things, that is—she can’t bring herself to part with Needle, the sword that Jon Snow had made for her back in the first season. She hides it so she can come back for it later. Will Jaqen find out?
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Back at the temple, she gets to see where they take the bodies of the people who come to the temple to die. But aside from cleaning the bodies, she isn’t told what happens next. Through sacrificing her identity, she’s unraveled a small part of the mystery of this place. If she wants to find out what the deal is with the Faceless Men, she’ll have to continue to sacrifice and serve.
Across the Narrow Sea in King’s Landing, there’s yet another wedding—luckily, nobody dies. As the nobility of Westeros look on, King Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman) and Queen Margaery (Natalie Dormer) share a kiss.
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The following wedding night sex scene between the two new royals is one of the most awkward in the show’s history, mostly because Tommen is, like, twelve years old. But afterward, when Margaery tells Tommen she wants to know everything about him, it’s hard to tell whether she’s being a playful lover or a crafty spy—after all, their two families are competing to fill the power gap left by Tywin Lannister’s death. Margaery is trying to use Tommen to get Cersei (Lana Headey) out of the city and out of her family’s way.
“It’s so wonderful to have her watching over you,’’ she tells Tommen, regarding his mother. “She’ll never let you out of her sight.’’
The horrified look on Tommen’s face when he realizes the truth of that statement, and that his mom is cramping his style, is perfect. Watching Margaery and Cersei trade barbs in the next few scenes is even better. They’re exchanging pleasantries, but each one is being brandished like a weapon.
“I wish we had some wine for you, but it’s a bit early for us,’’ Margaery says to Cersei, calling her out for her drinking habit.
“I just wanted you to know, if there’s anything I can ever do for you…’’ Cersei tells Margaery, and it sounds like she means “If there’s anything I can ever do to you.’’
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Cersei’s seeking new allies in strange new places, meeting with the new High Sparrow (Jonathan Pryce), leader of the religious order that creepy cousin Lancel now belongs to. She’s impressed by the way the Sparrows paraded the previous, pervy High Septon through the streets after they caught him in a brothel, no doubt thinking of how she can use this group against her enemies. She tells the High Sparrow that the crown and the faith need to work together, but she doesn’t realize the trouble she’s wading into.
“The notion that we’re all equal in the eyes of the seven doesn’t sit well with some,’’ says the religious leader.
Members of his order just punished a corrupt leader for his hypocrisy. Doesn’t Cersei realize that he could easily do the same to her?
We get our first glimpse of Winterfell under the rule of the Boltons. They’re rebuilding everything they destroyed back in season two, when Ramsay (Iwan Rheon) sacked the Starks’ castle after kicking Theon’s (Alfie Allen) forces out.
Speaking of Theon, he’s there, skulking around the castle where he grew up, constantly reminded of the part he played in the ruin of House Stark. As Bolton soldiers raise the flayed bodies of torture victims above the gate—in the same place where he once displayed the bodies he passed off as Bran’s and Rickon’s in season two—his shame is too much for him to take.
Roose [fragment number=4] Bolton (Michael McElhatton) is listening to Ramsay’s excuses for killing and flaying the Northern lords who refused to pay taxes. He tells his son to cool it with the whole pulling-off-people’s-skin thing, since their hold on the North is now tenuous at best—Tywin’s dead, so the Lannisters no longer have their backs as Wardens of the North. But he’s got even more pressing news, and needs Ramsay’s attention.
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“We become a great house by entering into alliances with other houses, and parlaying those alliances into greater power,’’ Roose explains, trying to imbue his sadistic son with some sense for this game of thrones. “The best way to forge a lasting alliance isn’t by pulling a man’s skin off. The best way is marriage.’’
He’s made a deal with freakin’ Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen) to marry Ramsay off to Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner).
Stop the Game of Thrones, I want to get off.
On one hand, it’s a good strategy: quell the rebellious spirits of the Northern lords by putting a Stark back in Winterfell. On the other, though, it’s disgusting. We’re witnessing the pairing of the most abusive jerk on this show with the character who has continually sufferedthe most abuse.
Not to mention, the Boltons betrayed the Starks, leading to the Red Wedding and the deaths of Sansa’s brother and mother. Sansa’s reaction as she realizes what’s happening to her is pretty similar to ours—she freaks out.
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But when Littlefinger explains to her why he made the deal with Roose, we start to see a positive side.
“You’ve been a bystander to tragedy since the day they executed your father,’’ he tells her. “Stop being a bystander, do you hear me? Stop running. There’s no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. You loved your family. Avenge them.’’
Last season, Littlefinger explained that he killed Joffrey because he had helped kill Sansa’s mother, who he loved. He asked her, “given the opportunity, what do we do to those who hurt the ones we love?’’ Now, he’s giving her an opportunity.
Could she be the one to give the Boltons what they deserve? She may have more support than we think—when she enters her old room, a servant welcomes her back with the phrase “the North remembers.’’ Mark my words, the showrunners are setting us up for Red Wedding II: Sansa’s Revenge.
It’s hard to believe Ramsay when he tells Littlefinger that he’ll never hurt Sansa—we can tell he’s already thinking about it. We still can’t quite tell what Littlefinger himself is thinking, though. Helping avenge the Starks is one thing, but what’s his bigger-picture master plan?
“The Lannisters made you one of the great lords of Westeros, yet here you are in the North undermining them,’’ Roose says to him. “Why gamble with your position?’’
“Every ambitious move is a gamble,’’ Littlefinger answers. “You gambled when you drove a dagger into Robb Stark’s heart. It appears that your gamble paid off.’’
Also, Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) and Podrick (Daniel Portman) are still following Sansa’s entourage. Will they have a part to play in avenging the Starks, too?
At the Wall, Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) turns down the offer from King Stannis (Stephen Dillane) to become a Stark in favor of his Night’s Watch vows, and we know it isn’t an easy decision. Its a tense meeting, with Stannis very annoyed at Jon’s refusal. Jon mistakes it as praise when Stannis calls him as honorable as his father, but Stannis sees honor as a flaw, and notes that it got Jon’s father, Ned Stark, beheaded.
Stannis and his army are moving on Winterfell, and he’s leaving the wildlings for Jon to deal with—he mentions that Tormund Giantsbane (Kristofer Hivju) might be more willing to compromise than Mance was, which is an interesting proposition.
Of course, that would put Jon even more at odds with his sworn brothers (including his steward, Olly, whose parents were killed by wildlings—don’t think we didn’t catch that dirty look you gave Jon when he was talking about working with the wildlings, kid). Jon tries to make peace with the troublesome Alliser Thorne (Owen Teale) by promoting him, but his efforts to get rid of his enemy Janos Slynt (Dominic Carter) by putting him in charge of rebuilding a ruined Wall outpost fail when Slynt directly disobeys the order.
Jon can’t have his leadership challenged like this, and orders Slynt brought outside for punishment. Once the Castle Black Cafeteria is clear, Jon mulls things over, chugs the rest of his beer, and walks out to chop off Slynt’s head.
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This is a rare moment of sweet revenge on Game of Thrones. Slynt was commander of the City Watch in King’s Landing back in season one, and betrayed Ned Stark, leading to his death. After he was sent to the wall by Tyrion in season 2, he constantly berated Jon while avoiding any danger himself. We’re not the only ones who approve of Jon’s actions—Stannis gives a rare nod of approval.
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Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) and Varys (Conleth Hill) are still making their way to Meereen and Daenerys Targaryen. They’re stopping off in a city called Volantis, where everybody’s talking about Dany. First there’s a Red Priest, a member of the same religious order as Melisandre, who refers to Dany as a savior; then, when Tyrion visits a brothel, there’s the popular prostitute who drums up business by looking and dressing like the Targaryen queen.
“Someone who inspires both priests and whores is worth taking seriously,’’ says Varys, his desperate attempt to get Tyrion on the Targaryen bandwagon faltering.
Tyrion chats up a prostitute, but has an unexpected Holden Caulfield moment and can’t bring himself to do the deed. Instead, he wonders outside to take a leak, and someone we haven’t seen for a while comes out of the shadows to kidnap him:
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Well if it isn’t Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen), who was sent away by Dany last season after she found out he had been spying on her back in season one! Apparently he’s been drinking his life away in Volantis, ashamed that he failed the queen he loved. He’s going to try to get back in her good graces by capturing one of her enemies. I wonder how he’ll react when he finds out Tyrion was heading to her anyway?
Stray Arrows:
—Is disgraced maester Qyburn (Anton Lesser) building some kind of FrankenMountain out of Ser Gregor Clegane’s remains? Last season, we saw him attempting to save the humongous knight, who was poisoned by Oberyn Martell during their fateful duel. That thing moving under the blanket it Qyburn’s lab was probably what’s left of the Mountain.
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—Did you catch that little ‘ginger’ joke Jon Snow made? Boston.com’s Tim Molloy had a few things to say about it.
—Cersei has Qyburn send a raven to Littlefinger “at the Eyrie, or wherever he’s slithering about.’’ She doesn’t know where he is or what he’s doing, and won’t see the Sansa-Ramsay news coming. She asks Qyburn to “Make sure Littlefinger is clear on the meaning of the word immediately.’’ Is the crown calling him back to King’s Landing? Sure seems like it. It’ll be awkward if he’s there when news of the marriage he made reaches the capital.
—King Stannis Baratheon is “a complicated man,’’ says Davos Seaworth, President and likely sole member of the Stannis Baratheon Booster Club, Westeros Chapter.
—Stannis is marching on Winterfell “within the fortnight.’’ With Brienne and Stannis converging on the castle, where Sansa, Theon and the Boltons already are, it’s sure to be the focal point of the action later this season.
—As Cersei’s palanquin moves through the streets of King’s Landing, she witnesses the smallfolk calling out Margaery’s name. I bet she’s starting to wonder if Margaery is, in fact, that “younger, more beautiful’’ queen from that prophecy back in episode one—the one that will cast her down and take everything she holds dear.
—Brienne blames Stannis for Renly’s death, something that hasn’t been touched on in a while. Now that both Stark girls have refused Brienne’s help, will her new plot arc have her heading to kill Stannis?
—Samwell (John Bradley) mentions old Maester Aemon (Peter Vaughan) isn’t feeling well. That doesn’t bode well for the centenarian, though there are many worse ways to go out on this show than old age.
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