‘The Bachelor’ Episode 6 Recap: When Two Becomes None

Chris Soules and Becca shared a moment during this week’s one-on-one date in the February 9 episode of “The Bachelor.’’ ABC

By Meredith and Kimberly Liu

February 10, 2015

6 minutes to read

We left off last week with Kelsey having a suspiciously timed panic attack just before the rose ceremony. When this week’s episode picks up, Kelsey is still writhing on the floor as the other ladies observe with growing skepticism and diminishing sympathy. Kaitlyn summarizes it well: “There is something in the air. Bitches be crazy.’’

Once Kelsey has oh-so-bravely recovered, she smirks and tells the paramedic, “I’m gonna get a rose tonight for sure,’’ before beckoning Chris to her side for a chat and a cuddle. On a night when the cocktail party has been cancelled, and therefore no one else has the chance to talk to Chris, the other girls are livid.

At the belated rose ceremony, it’s confirmed that Kelsey’s move has paid off. Chris keeps her (along with Jade, Kaitlyn, Megan, Becca, and Ashley and early rose recipients, Britt, Carly, and Whitney) and says goodbye to 21-year-old Mackenzie and a nice-looking brunette named Samantha, who purports to have been on the show for the last five weeks.

As for the ladies that remain, the producers are trying to prepare them for Chris’s hometown slowly, so the next stop on the Bachelor tour is Deadwood, South Dakota (a slightly less tiny town also populated by white people in the middle of nowhere).

The one-on-one date

Even though Kelsey tells us that her past entitles her to the one-on-one date, it goes to Becca instead. So far, we know Becca only as the second, far less annoying virgin in the house. She is also the only one left on this show who has not kissed Chris (by her own choice), which makes her an unconquered, and therefore desirable, territory.

The pair take off on a horseback ride to enjoy the South Dakotan scenery. Chris thinks Becca looks “smoking hot’’ on a horse. Riding through the beautiful countryside, the pair do resemble an Abercrombie ad (except both are fully clothed).

Back at the house, the ladies have had enough of Kelsey. They sit her down for the classic, “you act differently with Chris than you do with us’’ talk. Kelsey feigns ignorance as to the accusations, batting her eyelashes, dropping the “dead husband’’ card, and apologizing for any misperceptions. To the camera, she celebrates her manipulations: “I get it. I am blessed with eloquence, and I’m articulate, and I use a lot of big words, because I’m smart.’’ You’re not that smart, Kelsey, if you really think the other girls just bought that load of B.S.

Back on the date, Chris and Becca cook shish kebabs over an open fire and talk about their life plans. There’s not much else worth saying. Becca, you are a lovely, normal, reasonably intelligent person, but we almost fell asleep during your date

Let’s just summarize and say, Becca finally gave it up (a kiss, not her virginity), and she gets the rose. Chris announces that “his expectations were blown out of the water,’’ so apparently he found the date more exciting than we did.

Group date

This week’s group humiliation features Britt, Whitney, Carly, Megan, Kaitlyn, and Jade. They meet delightful country act Big & Rich and are informed that they’ll each have to pen a love song and sing it to Chris in front of an audience of locals. Gah.

Chris agrees to share the embarrassment and kicks off the concert with a country song of his own. Chris has no rhythm and is tone deaf, but the ladies still find him adorable, proving they’re all blinded (and deafened) by love. Then, each of the women takes the stage, and Chris smiles his cheesy little face off listening to six ladies declare their love for him. Carly, who is a professional singer, obviously stands out, and Chris loves her heartfelt song. Still very much an underdog at this point, she’s hoping the moment gives her a leg up.

As the day slips into evening, Chris starts spending personal time with each girl. When it’s Britt’s turn, Chris has planned a special surprise. He sweeps her away from the group and off to a packed Big & Rich concert. After enjoying the duo’s performance together, Chris brings Britt on stage to award her the group date rose in front of a screaming crowd.

When they return to the group, holding hands no less, Chris awkwardly announces, “Obviously you can see that I gave Britt a rose.’’ He explains that he thought it would be more sensitive to give her the rose in private. He does not, however, explain why he left the girls alone for over an hour without so much as a “see ya later.’’

Chris then slinks off, leaving Britt to fend off the angry mob alone. Ever insightful Kaitlyn explains the mood in the room to Britt: “We can’t help but feel humiliated, and you can’t help but feel like that’s the best thing that ever happened.’’

The two-on-one date

After several seasons without it, the dreaded-slash-awesome two-on-one date is back! The rules are simple: two girls enter the date, only one comes out alive.

The producers have given us the gift of pitting crazy and manipulative Kelsey against crazily-obsessed-with-her-virginity Ashley. Oh boy. Both women go into the date completely confident that they will prevail.

Things start out fine with an awkward helicopter ride past Mount Rushmore and a smooth landing in the Badlands for a romantic picnic. But minutes after touchdown, things become decidedly less smooth.

Ashley gets alone time with Chris first and immediately does what any desperate Bachelor contestant would do: Try to destroy the competition. She relays to Chris that the whole house thinks Kelsey is manipulative and fake. Ashley may come across as petty, but her plan works and Chris starts doubting Kelsey’s authenticity.

This sets into motion a fun game of Bachelor-style telephone wherein: 1) Chris confronts Kelsey about Ashley’s accusations. 2) Kelsey confronts Ashley about ratting to Chris; and 3) Ashley confronts Chris about blabbing to Kelsey.

Ashley breaks out in hysterics about Chris’s betrayal. Chris is nice but not terribly apologetic. In fact, Ashley’s ranting and crying only sealed her fate. Chris tries to give her a graceful exit by telling her that their lifestyles are too different to make a relationship work. But a rapidly sinking Ashley has learned nothing about the perils of tattletaling and retorts that there’s no way Britt (the only person who wears as much make up as Ashley) wants Chris’s lifestyle either. Predictably, this does nothing to endear her to Chris—the ship has gone down, and Ashley is on it.

Kelsey watches Ashley run off in tears and is feeling pretty great, having deduced that the rose must be hers. Oh Kelsey, you celebrated too soon. Chris breaks the news that Kelsey isn’t getting the rose either. She actually handles the goodbye graciously (perhaps she’s already plotting to go Gone Girl on him later), and Chris runs to a waiting helicopter to get the hell out of Saigon.

Kudos to Chris for making his first truly intelligent decision of the season by sending both ladies packing. The only winner on this date is Ashley’s mascara, which took a beating but remained firmly stuck to those two-inch lashes.

Yet again, ABC has left us hanging, and we won’t find out who else — if anyone — is going home until next week.

Power rankings

The good news is that after this week’s massacre of a two-on-one date, there’s very little fat left to cut. Here’s who’s at the top of the heap:

1. Britt: Their chemistry is so powerful that Chris is willing to piss off the other girls just to grab a few more minutes with Britt. This frontrunner’s lead is widening — can anyone else catch up?

2. Whitney: If Britt is Marilyn, Whitney is Jackie. She may not have the most sex appeal, but she still still fits Chris’s daydreams about the perfect wife.

3. Kaitlyn: Kaitlyn was an early leader, but as things get serious, we wonder if Chris will think she’s a little too fun.

4. Becca: Becca’s one-on-one was boring for the viewers, but Chris thought it was perfect. Maybe a perfectly boring life is exactly what this farmer needs.

5. Jade: Jade’s shy sweetness is endearing to Chris, but her nude modeling past is still lurking in the background, waiting for the exact right moment to ruin her happy ending.

Next week’s preview promises that Britt cracks under the pressure, Jade reveals her Playboy past, and someone finally drops the “L-word.’’ Tune in for a two-night Bachelor-palooza, starting Sunday, February 15.