Call In Sick
It was a difficult first few months for us all. However we managed to get through it and the season is NOW. Call in Sick and take a long weekend!
The skiing is absolutely fantastic up North in New England. Most resorts are operating with 100% of their terrain open.
If you are lucky you can make your way up to Jay Peak, VT. There is more snow up there than I have seen in years. Over the last three weeks they have picked up at least 115 inches! That is what some other areas average for the entire season. Think about that…
the S.G. in powder at Jay Peak – there is still plenty left up there.
So what are you going to do?
Play hooky.
Head to the mountains.
Every skier and rider deserves at least one day a year when they can bag into work and hit the slopes. It is a right of passage. Right now is a great time to play the card.
– The cold air has kept the snow surfaces in prime condition.
– There is more snow in the forecast.
– Midweek will not be crowded.
It is going to be textbook weather for skiing and riding this weekend, make it long one. Abundant sunshine, deep bases, woods stuffed with snow, and temps in the upper twenties.
Go GET SOME! Here is a plan…
A Tram ride is better than working… 
Sick Day Shopping List
• Nasal Inhaler
• Box of Kleenex
• Bag of Halls
• Red Bull
• Bottle of your favorite libation
• 12 Pack of beer
The first three are only to be used at work. The later, anywhere but. Nonetheless, the later come into play first. Here is the Sick Day Powder Recipe, 36-hour cook time. Follow directions carefully, results may vary.
One: Skip dinner and start drinking beers. Compliment with a shot or two of moonshine. All in good faith as you check out the radar loop and call your friends to let them know about the diabolical scheme you are putting together.
Two: Once you have your sea legs under you drink a Red Bull. Then repeat step One. Start yelling and shouting, vociferously (very important for the illusion).
Three: Make a nice little To-Go bag of the inhaler, tissues and cough drops to bring to work. Brush your teeth and go to bed.
That’s the easy part for most of you, the hard part for some. What you have just done is ensured the fact that you will feel TERRIBLE at work the next morning. The majority of your colleagues will unquestionably agree you look like a rat dragged from a drain ditch.
Four: Show up at work early; beat the folks that sit around you there. Wear a belt that doesn’t match your shoes, with a wrinkled shirt.
Five: Strategically place the snot rags, halls and inhaler all around your cubicle. Use them, all day long. Blow your nose liberally and noisily make sure that your rubbish container shows signs of accumulation. Drink hot tea.
Six: Make several extra trips to the restroom. Do not look at or speak with anyone you do not have to. If someone engages in conversation let him or her know you feel dreadful. Do your job in a nonplussed methodology (that should be tough).
Seven: Sneeze and cough towards the end of the day, A LOT before leaving. Do not accept any invites for anything.
Powder 8’s: Either repeat steps 1 & 2 or go to bed early. For good powder skiing, the early pillow pays fat dividends.
Nine: Wake up and immediately make the call, do it early, first thing. Prior to even getting out of bed, you do not want your whit about you, you’re sick as death. Leave the VM. Say you are, “Spraying everywhere and got zero sleep.” Throw in a clearing of the throat, for good measure.
Ten: Get in the car and Go Skiing or Riding! POWDER DAY!
This might actually work, if none of your colleagues know you ski or ride! Better bet is honesty.
Mail it In!
S.G.
