Off the Trail
Friday! New England is going to get some snow this weekend, the question is really how much and where? I have been posting updates to the message boards from www.bestskiweather.com check it out.
Matt Noyes is saying this (and much more) on his weather blog. You should give it a look. It is one of the best New England weather related skier resources out the in the World Wide Web.
From http://mattnoyes.blogs.com/
Late Afternoon Update: I’ve seen enough for this upcoming Saturday storm to warrant 6″ amounts all the way from Central VT/NH/ME southward, pending a dramatic shift to a more progressive solution, which is still possible but looking less likely. Timing will be light snow developing Saturday evening and becoming heavier Saturday evening after sunset. Snow falls heavily Saturday night into early Sunday morning as storm center moves over Nantucket and Chatham – this means if all comes together as it’s currently looking (and do remember from 48 hours out, things can change) a foot or more of snow possible through the interior of Southern New England, 10″ or so closer to the coast with less possible at extreme coastlines where onshore flow may warm temps a bit, rain/snow mix at the Cape limiting amounts, and only a gradual drop off north into Northern New England More on this tomorrow… –Matt
************************************************************
Switching gear, here is some fun stuff I dug up…
From http://www.ahajokes.com/
The Skier’s Dictionary
Alp: One of a number of Ski Mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European skier on a U.S. mountain. An appropriate reply: “What Zermatter?”
Avalanche: One of the few actual perils skier’s face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport. See also: Blizzard, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse.
Bindings: Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from potentially serious injury during a fall by releasing skis from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers, and so on and on, eventually causing the entire slope to be protected from serious injury.
Bones: There are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: TWO bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a skiing accident.
Cross-Country Skiing: Traditional Scandinavian all-terrain snow-traveling technique. It’s good exercise. It doesn’t require the purchase of costly lift tickets. It has no crowds or lines. It isn’t skiing. See Cross-Country Something-Or-Other.
Cross-Country Something-or-Other: Touring on skis along trails in scenic wilderness, gliding through snow-hushed woods far from the hubbub of the ski slopes, hearing nothing but the whispery hiss of the skis slipping through snow and the muffled tinkle of car keys dropping into the puffy powder of a deep, wind-sculpted drift.
Exercises: A few simple warm-ups to make sure you’re prepared for the slopes: *Tie a cinder block to each foot with old belts and climb a flight of stairs. *Sit on the outside of a second-story window ledge with your skis on and your poles in your lap for 30 minutes. *Bind your legs together at the ankles, lie flat on the floor; and then, holding a banana in each hand, get to your feet.
Gloves: Designed to be tight enough around the wrist to restrict circulation, but not so closefitting as to allow any manual dexterity; they should also admit moisture from the outside without permitting any dampness within to escape.
Gravity: One of four fundamental forces in nature that affect skiers. The other three are the strong force, which makes bindings jam; the weak force, which makes ankles give way on turns; and electromagnetism, which produces dead batteries in expensive ski-resort parking lots. See Inertia.
Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion. Goes along with these other physical laws: * Two objects of greatly different mass falling side by side will have the same rate of descent, but the lighter one will have larger hospital bills. * Matter can neither be created nor destroyed, but if it drops out of a parka pocket, don’t expect to encounter it again in our universe. * When a skier meets an immovable object, an unethical lawyer will immediately appear.
Pre-jump: Maneuver in which an expert skier makes a controlled jump just ahead of a bump. Beginners can execute a controlled pre-fall just before losing their balance and, if they wish, can precede it with a pre-scream and a few pre-groans.
Shin: The bruised area on the front of the leg that runs from the point where the ache from the wrenched knee ends to where the soreness from the strained ankle begins.
Ski!: A shout to alert people ahead that a loose ski is coming down the hill. Another warning skiers should be familiar with is “Avalanche!” – Which tells everyone that a hill is coming down the hill.
Skier: One who pays an arm and a leg for the opportunity to break them?
Stance: Your knees should be flexed, but shaking slightly; your arms straight and covered with a good layer of goose flesh; your hands forward, palms clammy, knuckles white and fingers icy, your eyes a little crossed and darting in all directions. Your lips should be quivering, and you should be mumbling, “Why?”
Thor: The Scandinavian god of acheth and painth.
Traverse: To ski across a slope at an angle; one of two quick and simple methods of reducing speed.
Tree: The other method.
******************************************************************
Some jokes from http://www.amenta.com/ski/skijokes.htm
Oldies but goodies! Enjoy, bust them out on the chairlift.
Q: What is the difference between God and a ski instructor?
A: God does not think he is a ski instructor
Q: A car has five snowboarders in the back seat. What do you call the driver?
A: Sheriff
Q: What is the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student?
A: 3 Days
Q: How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine. One to screw in the light bulb and 8 to say nice turns!
Q: How does a snowboard instructor meet his class?
A: He runs into them!
Q: How can you tell who the ski / snowboard instructor is in a room full of people?
A: You don’t have to, they will tell you.
Q: What do you call a snowboarder with no girlfriend?
A: Homeless
*****************************************************************
That’s it for now folks, have a nice weekend and enjoy what could be some fresh snow in the mountains.
Powder for the People,
S.G.
