Burn Notice: 5 Ways to Make Tinder Even Better
Tinder is a place full of regrets. On Thursday, Tinder Plus—a premium version of the swipe-filled dating app—arrived to mitigate two of them. The fee-based option, which launched in the UK, Germany, and a few other countries, allows users the option to undo accidental swipes left (hitting an “Oops’’ button reverses the error mistake) and to lurk on the profiles of potential matches around the world—opposed to only flirting within a 100-mile radius.
Tinder’s winning strategy, in my humble Tinder-retired opinion, was that it replicated the “we met at a bar’’ experience better than any other dating service. As cofounder (and recently axed CEO) Sean Rad told the New York Times last month, “When was the last time you walked into a bar and someone said, ‘Excuse me, can you fill out this form and we’ll match you up with people here?’ That’s not how we think about meeting new people in real life.’’
How to completely destroy Tinder’s not-so-secret sauce? Make it as inorganic as possible. Then charge for it.
According to Tinder executives, Tinder Plus’s features were chosen based on user demand. But the company could be much better at pinpointing Tinder’s real problems and needs.
But what about my problems and needs? And the problems and needs of other non-jetsetting/quick-draw individuals, of course. Here are a few potential Tinder Plus enhancements we’d like to see:
Problem: Tinder is full of spam accounts from demographically savvy services.
For an example, look at this user review on the iTunes Store:
“Out of 50 swipes I probably had 5 matches and 4 of those were links to a hooker site. I know this is the laziest dating site out there which we all like, but there should be a better way to filter who is signing up for this. Even if you require people to login with Facebook you can still use somebody else’s profile which ultimately will be linked to a hooker site. Maybe people are selling their Facebook profiles and using them to create these hooker sites/links? Can I sell my Facebook profile for a link to a hooker site?’’
Solution: Supply Tinder with even more personal and private information to weed out the fake accounts. In addition to access to your Facebook account, give Tinder your blood type, Social Security number, bank routing number, and your mother’s e-mail address, as well as receipts for the last five items you purchased from Amazon.com. Then rest assured that everyone else has done the same and never face the accidental, totally innocent swipe-in with a “hooker site.’’
Cost: Personal dignity and privacy, and maybe $5.
Problem: Some of the people I initially match with seem to have sllllliiiighhhhttt issues accepting rejection—or, like, even a pause in casual conversation—and lash out irrationally at me.
Solution: Add ability for Tinder to flag accounts that escalate too quickly. Users who abuse their opportunity to have a decent interaction will have their accounts frozen indefinitely until they are able to report back with five conversation starters they’d like their future daughters to be presented with.
Cost: If Twitter can’t seem to afford a decent abuse-control policy, all hope is lost for Tinder.
Problem: I think the guy/girl I’m talking to on Tinder is talking to many other guys/girls on Tinder.
Solution: He/she is.
Cost: Give me $5.
Problem: Some users only have group photos and I have no idea which one he/she is!
Solution: Swipe right (free) because that person clearly doesn’t understand the concept of a profile photo. Alternately: Tinder can use facial recognition to pinpoint exactly which member of the frat pack you’re talking to.
Cost: This seems worth the $1.99 premium. Add it on.
Problem: I’m on Tinder.
Solution: Delete the app.
Cost: FREE!
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