How to be competitive in a good way
Two wellness experts argue that you should be competing to be your best self every single day.
Sometimes it can feel like we’re constantly competing — at work, in fitness classes, on social media.
Catie Macken and Katie Grimes, both wellness experts in the Boston area, are hoping to change the conversation around competition.
The pair launched a series of local workshops this past fall called Fiercely YOU, which they hope will empower women by triggering honest conversations on topics that range from money to love to grief. On Jan. 17, they’ll host a workshop about competition at Industrious Boston in the Seaport District.
“We want people to understand that competition is not with others, it’s with being your best self,” Grimes said. “You really have to be your best version of yourself, versus being competitive with others, so you can inspire others to be their best.”
Here are Macken and Grimes’ three tips for being competitive in a positive way.
Encourage others
“A lot of competition is rooted in fear,” Macken said, “fear that we won’t have enough money or love or stuff. So we’re striving to take what other people have, from that fear.”
Encouraging others helps combat that, she said.
Grimes, who is in commercial real estate, said that when she’s facing real estate competitors, she reminds herself that there’s enough business to go around. This is called an abundance mentality.
Grimes also saw a need to be more encouraging in her personal life when she realized she was “fiercely competitive” while playing board games with her roommate.
“One thing I do to counter that is, I slap her five and say, ‘Good job,'” Grimes said. “It makes me remember that we’re both in this together. I can’t play a board game by myself.”
Question yourself
Grimes recently took a hard look at her competitive feelings on the road — aka, her road rage.
“I questioned it,” she said. “[I asked myself], ‘Where have I learned this behavior? Why do I think it’s OK to be in my car, swearing by myself when [drivers] cut me off?'”
She said she realized she was mimicking behavior she learned from a family member and sought to change it.
“Just because that person is having a bad day doesn’t mean I need to take that on,” Grimes said. “I should have compassion.”
“When you are curious with yourself, you are able to tap into the intention of why you are doing things,” Macken said. “When you have that clarity or self awareness, you are better able to align yourself with the things that matter.”
Be a conscientious social media user
If scrolling through your social media and looking at a friend’s photos of her dreamy vacation or new car makes you feel competitive, it’s time to once again look inward, according to Macken.
“[Ask yourself], ‘Why do I feel this way when I see someone else happy? What about my life is maybe not in alignment and creating dissonance within?'” she said. “Because it has nothing to do with them. It’s your projection on them that’s creating this feeling.”
Step away from the device so you can better focus on your feelings, Grimes said. It can help to move your body — perhaps go for a run.
“The more we are grateful or happy for others and delighted at their experience, the more that we are attracting that for ourselves,” Macken said.
