Should I Speak Up When Colleagues Speak Out? Elaine Varelas advises on appropriate responses
More and more meetings are being set over the phone or via Skype, especially as remote work increases and companies expand. With that comes “headset etiquette.” Members of the call may relax their conversation before fellow colleagues have joined, or discuss inappropriate topics during the discussion. Elaine Varelas advises employees who have had uncomfortable experiences on these headset calls, and the appropriate response depending on the severity.
Q: I work in a male-dominated field. We communicate over headsets, and sometimes before my colleagues realize I’m on the call, their conversations are inappropriate enough to make me a little comfortable. After I’ve announced my presence, it’s like there’s an elephant in the room. I don’t want to get them in trouble, but I don’t know how to tell them that it’s not appropriate to have these conversations over comms. What do I do?A:
There is definitely an etiquette to meetings that occur over headsets, Skype, or whatever technology that you use. One of the wonderful parts of technology is that it can let you preset how you want to come into a meeting and the meeting organizer should establish that everyone enters the meeting set to mute. Additional meeting etiquette dictates timeliness. There’s nothing more annoying than hearing the beep of people being announced five minutes into the meeting.
You control how and when you enter the meeting. Eliminate the bad behavior by entering these meetings early. You do not need to be the censor, but you can be a role model, or demonstrate best practices. Be early, be prepared, and be professional in all communications.
It’s important to remember that the kind of communications you’re talking about, the kind making you feel uncomfortable, shouldn’t be happening anywhere in the office, over headsets, or through any kind of communication channel or venue that is work-related. You haven’t discussed the level of discomfort or the level of inappropriate conversation, however, if the elephant is in the room, you want to be able to say, “Hey guys, not here.” If you can’t be early and prevent the conversation, be sure to announce yourself immediately.
There are people who dial in, wait, and eavesdrop on conversations, which is also inappropriate. Whether those conversations are professional or personal, appropriate or not, you want to make sure that’s not the situation you are in.
Having some kind of practice or policy that’s generated by HR, or by managers, on what’s appropriate in terms of professional behaviors in these kinds of communications can also help. If the participants are smart enough to feel the sudden awkwardness, then they’re smart enough to know that this kind of conversation was inappropriate.
There may be other colleagues, male and female, on this call who share your sentiment. Discuss their feelings and ideas on ending the bad behavior. There is support in numbers. And any colleague can say “I thought I’d be on the call early to ensure that we keep the call as professional as we should be.”
There are different levels of inappropriate conversation that range from mischief to harassment, and your response should be aligned with that level. Mischief needs to be ended immediately, while harassment needs to be ended immediately and reported. If your efforts don’t get the results you want, do talk to a manager, or HR. So, gauge what you want to make happen and how you want to make that happen. Don’t be made uncomfortable in any kind of professional interactions at work.
You don’t need to tell this crew you are uncomfortable – you, or someone else, needs to tell them they are behaving inappropriately.
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