Golden Globes: Fashion hits, misses

The 71st annual Golden Globes in Beverly Hills, Calif., officially kicks off the high point of awards season. Stars bring their sartorial best to the red carpet and we are left with no other option but to judge them. This year’s show was hosted once again by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and had plenty of eye candy for us to gush over. When it was good, it was really good. But when it was bad— oh, it was bad.

Where do we begin? Well, Jennifer Lawrence wore this strange contraption by Dior, so that gives Joan Rivers plenty of fodder to work with.

Hit: Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta

We’ve given Zooey a lot of flak for her misguided fashion choices but this one really stuck with us — in a good way. It was the right ratio of sugary sweet to retro chic and well played by Deschanel and her ruby red lip and champagne gold accessories. The cropped top and tulle skirt felt very now and we were happy to see all of the aesthetic components that make Deschanel just so lovable finally translate to the red carpet in a cohesive and successful way.

Hit: Michelle Dockery in Oscar de la Renta

It was a good night for Mr. de la Renta. The “Downton Abbey’’ star’s gown echoed the sweetness of Deschanel’s but delicate lace florals and gold paillettes gave the dress a completely different feel. Dockery looked fresh, classic, and pristine.

Hit: Lupita Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren

All hail the new queen of the red carpet: Lupita Nyong’o! This was one of our favorites of the night. Not just because she’s perfection, but because it’s not just any gown — this is a caped gown. You have to be like Angelina Jolie or Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars status to pull of a cape on the red carpet — unless you’re Lupita Nyong’o. Just setting the bar, folks.

Hit: Kerry Washington in Balenciaga

Remember that time Beyonce wore an orange Lanvin kaftan and cradled her newly revealed baby bump on the red carpet at the MTV Video Music Awards in 2011 and we declared it the best red carpet fashion pregnancy moment of all time? Yeah, Washington and her custom Balenciaga just bested her.

Hit: Margot Robbie in Gucci

This was so good! Robbie’s has had a good fashion run with the “Wolf of Wall Street’’ tour, so we were expecting good things from her at the Globes. She appears to be poured into this Gucci and looks every bit the bombshell and the girl next door that we hoped she would be. Plus, emerald green Louboutins! Fun!

Hit: Amy Adams in Valentino

Can anyone rock a deep-V neckline like Adams? Following in the likeness of her Best Actress award winning performance in “American Hustle,’’ Adams channeled the classic sultry ’70s silhouette for one last — very wonderful — fashion moment.

Hit: Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera

We weren’t too into this dress until Fey did this and we were like, “Oh yeah, OK.’’ We were just getting used to seeing Fey in bombshell halter dresses that showed off the true babe she secretly is, but we can get behind this look too. Hair was OK, shape was interesting, and she looked—overall—very nice in a look that was unique to her. Unlike some people who just wear something tight and black and call it a day—we’re looking at you, Amy Poehler.

Hit: Naomi Watts in Tom Ford

Can we just invite Naomi Watts to all our parties? This was so good that we literally feel no need to explain our rationale. Sorry we’re not sorry.

Hit: Cate Blanchett in Armani Prive 

Sometimes we look at red carpets and feel like it’s a parade of discarded and dejected prom dresses all over again—which is very sad because most of these gowns cost thousands and require a great deal of time, effort, and strategy before they’re worn. And then sometimes we’re blown away. A look feels like the piece of art that it’s meant to be. We gain a greater understanding of the actress wearing it. We instantly feel connected to them and form an opinion, outside of their work on TV or movies, that we never would before—and that’s a true fashion moment. This was a great one.

Miss: Amber Heard in Atelier Versace

This would have made way more sense if it were a wardrobe malfunction. (It wasn’t.)

Miss: Sandra Bullock in Prabal Gurung

This is what we were talking about re: discarded and dejected prom dresses. Actually this didn’t even make it to prom—this was basically Spring Fling status.

Miss: Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland Couture

What was this sad situation? Remember when Patton wore that awesome yellow Monique Lhuillier to the Globes a few years back and we all fell in love with her? Those days are apparently over. And you know your dress is bad when we start wishing Robin Thicke was there.

Miss: Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera

What happened here?

Miss: Taylor Schilling in Thakoon

This was sad for us because the “Orange Is the New Black’’ star is a Boston girl and we really wanted this to be a good night for her. Color was OK but she was drowning in this dress. Plus, the dress is just bad. It was like it couldn’t quite decide what to be: Am I vintage? Am I lingerie? Am I secretly polyester? Help!

Miss: Emma Thompson in Lanvin

No.

Miss: Lizzy Caplan in Emilio Pucci

This look could have been great but it’s like it gave up trying somewhere below the waistline. The top half is all “I’m ’20s glam’’ and then the bottom’s like, “I’m a pillow case.’’

Miss: Joanna Newsom in … we can’t even talk about it

AHHH! AHHH!!!!!!

Miss: Jessica Lange

Unless you’re a small child posing for your family holiday portrait or a cast member of “Downton Abbey,’’ one should never wear velvet. Lange, you are fabulous and a total babe at 64, but this dress made us feel physically ill.

Miss: Jacqueline Bisset

On the bright side, the dress wasn’t her lowest moment of the night.

Miss: Heidi Klum in Marchesa

She looks like a high-fashion hair band groupie.