So, Taylor Swift is going to Gillette and you’re not
Five other ways you could spend your weekend.
Tonight and Saturday at Gillette, Taylor Swift will perform for thousands of adoring fans. They’ll scream. They’ll sing. They’ll probably cry. I know I’ll be shedding some tears, because I’m not going.
Which is actually fine, because it’s probably not even going to be that good of a show. Sure, a friend in New York said that it was in the top 10 nights of her life, and another called it, “Literally life-changing.’’ But there are plenty of other fun things to do this weekend that don’t require six hours of traffic and cost a month’s rent.
The torrent of TSwift pics, snaps, tweets, and texts is rapidly approaching. Where will you be when it arrives? To get you started, here are five ways you could spend your weekend besides crying alone in your room.
Go see Trainwreck
Another powerful blonde who’s had as active a social media presence as Tay Tay lately, Amy Schumer brings it in her new comedy Trainwreck. You’ll cringe harder than you did watching the recent Taylor-Nicki feud unfold. You’ll cry more than you did when you listened to Back to December for the first time. You’ll laugh more than you did at the idea of paying $200 for nosebleed seats.
Participate in a city-wide scavenger hunt
The Boston Challenge takes place on Saturday. The urban scavanger hunt is a great way to relive your recent quest for quasi-affordable 1989 tickets. And this time, instead of winding up all “Scam scam scam scam! Why did you betray me, [email protected]???’’ you might actually be able to find what you’re looking for.
Go see Sheppard at Brighton Music Hall
The Australian indie pop band is a lot of fun. You’ve probably heard their hit song “Geronimo.’’ It’s about taking chances and/or the plummeting feeling of your heart as you realize you’re really, truly not going to the 1989 tour. Tickets for Friday’s concert are available on Ticketmaster for $15 each.
Create your own Tay Tay extravaganza
TBH, Foxboro is a drag to get to anyway. Invite friends to come over dressed in one of Taylor’s many looks, from curly-haired country twanger to leather-clad Catastrophe. Do a power-hour to Taylor’s discography, take some selfies with “totally-shocked-I’m-winning-an-award’’ faces, and rock your best awkward dance moves. Extra points if you adopt a cat or two.
Try to escape from a zombie
“Zombie Escape’’ in Somerville is a creative exercise similar to what you’ve seen on adrenaline-pumping reality shows. It gives you 60 minutes to escape from a room with a zombie chained to the wall. Though the zombie is an employee of Room Escape Adventures, you should offer to take its place. After seeing all of the photos and videos from Friday and Saturday night, you’ll be deader inside than any zombie could ever be.
In the end, maybe there’s no way to beat sneaking backstage, getting invited on as the fourth Haim sister, and then being asked to try out for the Women’s National Soccer team. But it’s time to face the truth. You, like me, are destined to be naught but a vicarious participant in the star-studded love-fest that is the 1989 World Tour.
Free things to do in Boston to distract yourself from your lack of Taylor Swift tickets:
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