The best jokes from the 2022 Oscars opening monologue

The 2022 Oscars became the first Academy Awards since 2018 to have a host — or hosts, in this case.

Shortly after a bravura performance from Beyonce Knowles, co-hosts Regina Hall, Amy Schumer, and Wanda Sykes took the stage for an opening monologue, with the comic actresses slinging hilarious one-liners that skewered the assembled talent.

Among the trio’s targets included the Academy itself, the Massachusetts-filmed “Don’t Look Up,” and its star, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Here are the best jokes and one-liners from the trio’s opening monologues at the 2022 Oscars.

— “This year, the academy hired three women to host because it’s cheaper than hiring one man.”

— “You know, there was a lot of snubs this year. Rachel Zegler for ‘West Side Story.’ Jennifer Hudson for ‘Respect.’ And Lady Gaga and Jared Leto for ‘House of Random Accents.'”

— “This is kind of sad; you know what’s in the In Memoriam package this year? The Golden Globes. They didn’t have any Black people. They didn’t have any Black members. They had to go.”

— “I’m Amy Schumer. Or as they know me in Hollywood, Melissa McCarthy said no.”

— “I just want to congratulate all of you. During a raging pandemic you made a movie. Give yourself a hand. that’s incredible. And yet they weren’t all great. A lot of them were pretty hard to understand. You know who you are. I didn’t see many — any — of them. I didn’t see them. But I had a toddler, so I just watched ‘Encanto’ 190 times.”

— “After years of Hollywood ignoring women’s stories, this year we finally got a movie about the incredible Williams sisters’… dad.”

— “‘Don’t Look Up’ is nominated. I guess the Academy members ‘don’t look up’ reviews.”

— “Leonardo DiCaprio, what can I even say about him? He’s done so much to fight climate change and leave behind a cleaner, greener planet for his girlfriends.”

— “Aaron Sorkin, a genius. The innovation to make a movie about Lucille Ball without even a moment that’s funny. You’re Aaron Sorkin, how do you make a movie about the most iconic female comedian with not one laugh. Brilliant! It’s like making a biopic about Michael Jordan and only showing the bus trips between games.”

Kevin Slane

Staff Writer

Kevin Slane is a staff writer for Boston.com covering entertainment and culture. His work focuses on movie reviews, streaming guides, celebrities, and things to do in Boston.

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