Get a little love in your inbox!
Sign up for the Love Letters newsletter for announcements, hand-picked letters, and other great updates from the desk of Meredith Goldstein
I didn’t know enough about sex therapy, either
Sex therapists — including the one in today’s episode of the Love Letters podcast — say that a lot of people don’t really understand the range of the work.
Sex therapy is not just about sex.
I mean … it is about sex. But I used to assume that when people sought out a sex therapist, it was only to talk about what’s wrong in the bedroom. Or why they’re not connecting with a partner. Or why they’re having trouble pleasuring themselves or others.
But it’s about a lot more than that.
I’ve been interviewing sex therapists about what they do, and it’s all over the map. They can help people talk about gender. They can help people accept that it’s OK to have less sex.
Advertisement:
Their work is about helping us decide what brings us comfort, happiness, and pleasure — and how we can have all of those good things without taking anything away from anyone else.
Sex therapists — including the one in today’s episode of the Love Letters podcast — say that a lot of people don’t really understand the range of the work … or what it takes to become a certified sex therapist.
You’ll learn all about what sex therapy really is from Krista Nabar, today’s guest. It’s an episode I named “The Pleasure Principle” … partly because I’m seeing Janet Jackson soon, so it’s been in my head.
Krista gets into the reality of sex therapy, but she also tells a story that has very little to do with sex.
In her own life, getting comfortable with sex wasn’t the problem. Her issues were about figuring out what it means to be honest about what brings her happiness — and what doesn’t.
Advertisement:
If you’re a people-pleaser, it can be easy to ignore what you actually want.
Today’s episode is for anyone who feels like they put their own needs aside for others. You’ll learn you’re not alone. Even licensed mental health professionals like Krista can forget how to be good to themselves.
[Listen on Apple | Listen on Spotify]
IN THE NEWS
I love it when former podcast guests make (good) news. Trenni, the subject of our episode “Boyfriend Person” — one of our most popular episodes ever! — was written up in Page Six this month for doing a big, on-camera takedown of … that man who is on that football team with Taylor Swift’s boyfriend … the one who made a sexist and homophobic graduation speech that went viral. I won’t even get into what he said here, because it’s not worth my time. But Trenni, who has a platform on a sports network, told her audience that everything he said is the worst.
I love that she used her very public position to say “no thank you” to that speech.
Advertisement:
You can read the Page Six writeup here.
ASK YOUR QUESTIONS
In the Love Letters advice column: a letter about someone whose partner’s mother is dealing drugs. What happens if the mom gets caught? Will this letter writer have to testify against an in-law?
Also, a letter writer asks whether she should pursue her college friend, a woman, or stay with her boyfriend.
Get advice by sending your own anonymous relationship/dating/marriage/breakup/friendship question to [email protected] or use this anonymous, handy form.
When you send your own letter, it helps someone who’s been stressing out about the same thing.
SOCKS OFF
I saw this display of socks in a store this week. One sock was covered with cardboard, like an old Playboy in a convenience store in the ’80s.
Maybe next newsletter I’ll show you what it said, but I would LOVE to hear guesses. I was like, “What could possibly be so R-rated that this sock needs to be censored?” And I was wrong!
—MEREDITH
STAY IN TOUCH: Facebook | X | Instagram
CATCH THE PODCAST: Apple | Spotify | Amazon Music
To comment, please create a screen name in your profile
To comment, please verify your email address
Conversation
This discussion has ended. Please join elsewhere on Boston.com