Celebs

This Week on Trailer Trash Talk: ‘Taken 3’

By Victor Paul Alvarez and Jeremy Gottlieb

January 9, 2015

3 minutes to read

This week in Trailer Trash Talk: “Taken 3.’’

JEREMY: Oh look, another “Taken’’ movie. Here’s a question: Is it me or are all the Liam Neeson middle-aged asskicker action movies just other sequels to the original “Taken?’’ There’s the original “Taken.’’ Then there was “Unknown,’’ which should have been called “Taken 2: Unknown.’’ After that you got “The Grey,’’ or “Taken 3: The Grey.’’ You follow? So next it was the actual “Taken 2,’’ but it may as well have been “Taken 4: Taken 2.’’ And then that “Non-Stop’’ movie that was just “Taken In an Airplane with Julianne Moore?’’ That was “Taken 5: Non-Stop.’’ And a couple months ago the “A Walk Among the Tombstones’’ that no one saw? That should have been called “Taken 6: A Walk Among the Tombstones.’’ So now that “Taken 3’’ is coming out, it’s actually “Taken 7:Taken 3.’’ See? Man, I’m exhausted.

VICTOR: Well said, Jeremy.

I’m not much of a “Taken’’ fan. I think it would be a lot better if Neeson reprised his Good Cop/Bad Cop role from “The Lego Movie’’ for these films.

Despite the new film’s tagline – “It Ends Here’’ – I fear we will be right back here in a couple years when they release “Taken 4: This Time, We Take Your Money Again.’’

I do like the scene where he handcuffs the cops together and takes their guns. But how many times can we watch Forest Whitaker list the resume of a trained killer? Or how many movies we can watch in which the hero claims to live only to protect the family he jeopardizes by his actions?

Finally, as a former owner and lover of a Crown Victoria, I’m happy to see them still getting work as police cars despite the fact that Ford took them out of production in 2011.

JEREMY: Those cars are probably still secretly being built at some outpost somewhere just so they can be wrecked in bad action sequels. And speaking of Forest Whitaker, what the hell is he doing here? Does he need the money that bad? Is he pulling a Tommy Lee Jones starring in Men In Black 3 so he can pay for his next western with a crazy title? This is an Oscar winning actor reduced to playing the straight man in “Taken 7?’’ There are so many better, more innovative ways to cash a check.

If Hollywood is going to be so cynical as to release “Taken 7: Taken 3,’’ then I’m going to be cynical about how bad it’s going to be. The truckloads of money Neeson has come into since being reborn as a non-descript, European-accented Clint Eastwood type for this generation is all well and good but really what’s the tipping point? “Taken 13: Taken 9’’ with Neeson avenging the murder of his home health aide or the administer of his daily angina pills at Shady Pines Home for Seniors? It’s coming man. You are definitely onto something with “This Time We Take Your Money Again.’’

VICTOR: I guess we won’t have to wait that long for the sequel you mentioned. This trailer for “Run All Night,’’ starring Neeson and Ed Harris, just hit my Twitter feed.

Here’s the IMDB plot summary:

“An aging hitman is forced to take on his brutal former boss to protect his estranged son and his family.’’

Also known as “Taken 8: Taken 4.’’