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By Annie Jonas
The 2026 Winter Olympics may be wrapping up in Milan, but Boston’s imaginary version is just getting started.
While the world has been watching figure skaters spin, skiers soar, and curlers … curl?, Bostonians have been busy imagining a very different kind of Winter Games — one that trades meticulous alpine courses for black ice, snow plow piles, and the eternal hunt for parking.
On Tuesday, one user on Reddit posed the question: “If Boston had their own winter ‘Olympics’ what would the events be? Spot saver slalom? Ice dancing on the sidewalk in front of Dunks while holding a large extra extra?”
More than 80 users jumped in, building a full slate of hyper-local events. The ideas ranged from the plausible to the uniquely Boston, with a heavy emphasis on the particularly challenging aspects of a New England winter.
Naturally, several events centered on the city’s iciest thoroughfares.
There was “Cop Slide Luge” and its not-so-distant cousin, “Cop Slide Bobsled” — both downhill thrill rides inspired by the internet meme of a Boston Police Officer tumbling down a metal slide outside of City Hall Plaza.

Over on the river, Redditors envisioned the “Charles River ice crossing survival contest” and the frigid “Charles Biathlon, featuring speed skating and swimming.”
Drivers, of course, would have their moment, too. Redditors reimagined the perennial moving-day spectacle along Storrow Drive as a thrill-seekers medal event: “High-Speed Storrowing” and “Storrow Drive Limbo,” where “whoever gets the tallest truck through without scraping (or tearing off) the top wins.” Parking purists suggested “Southie Parallel Parking” and the “Seaport Parking Battle Royale” as other competitive car events.
The city’s unofficial sport of defending shoveled-out parking spots called “space savers” would get it’s spot in the limelight with “Spot-Saver Curling” and “Space Saver Hurdles.” Potholes and steep, narrow streets would get their due in “Pothole Slalom,” “Beacon Hill Slalom,” and the especially chaotic “Newbury Doordash delivery driver bike slalom.”

Then, of course, there are the Dunkin’-themed endurance trials — because what would a Boston Olympics be without iced coffee in freezing temperatures? Redditors proposed the “Dunkin’ Jaywalk Relay Race,” the “Iced Dunks Toss,” and “Gloveless iced coffee speed walking” — a test of bravery, balance, and grip strength.
Snow piles post-snowstorm could become venues, too. Think: “Snowbank Vault,” “Halfpipe using the plow banks as walls,” and the team event, “Synchronized Snow Shoveling.”
Some ideas defied neat categorization. There’s “Porter Square Escalator Run,” a cardio challenge for anyone who’s ever sprinted for the Red Line. Grocery shoppers might train for “Full-Contact Market Basketing.” And wildlife would also make an appearance in “Turkey Dodge.”

So, Boston.com readers, we want to know: If the Winter Games came to Boston — not the polished, international version, but the scrappy, hyperlocal edition — what events would make the lineup?
Would you tune in for “Storrow Drive Limbo?” Train for “Spot-Saver Curling?” Or go for gold in “Gloveless iced coffee speed walking?”
Tell us your favorites and suggest your own events by filling out the form or e-mailing us at [email protected], and your response may appear in a future Boston.com article.
Annie Jonas is a Community writer at Boston.com. She was previously a local editor at Patch and a freelancer at the Financial Times.
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