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After losing her brother to suicide, she’s running Boston to help others feel less alone
"Every step holds a memory of a life well lived, and one so incredibly missed."
In our “Why I’m Running” series, Boston Marathon athletes share what’s inspiring them to make the 26.2-mile trek from Hopkinton to Boston. Looking for more race day content? Sign up for Boston.com’s pop-up Boston Marathon newsletter.
Name: Jen Hoye
Age: 53
From: Taunton
I’m a mom, new grandmother, philanthropy writer, and the author of “Thick Thighs, Tattoos & Breaking Taboos.” I grew up in Everett, and Boston was the backdrop for most of me and my brother Teddy’s childhood memories. We grocery-shopped in the North End and Haymarket, hid under clothing racks in Filene’s Basement, and played hide-and-seek at the Boston Public Library.
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Teddy was born four months prematurely in 1975, when “micropreemie” wasn’t a word most people knew, and my great-grandmother (who was president of the St. Agrippina di Mineo Society in the North End) organized daily prayers for him. When he finally came home from Boston Children’s Hospital, the Society honored him during the Feast of St. Agrippina, presenting him on the float as a tiny miracle.
As an adult, Teddy lived in East Boston and spent twenty years working as a DCR park ranger at the Massachusetts State House, where he made friends with everyone. He was kind, hilarious, and an epic prankster with a smile you didn’t forget. When Teddy died by suicide in 2017 at 41, the State House closed for his services because that’s how deeply he was loved.
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In the years that followed, I didn’t process my grief. I shut down, gained nearly 100 pounds, barely slept, and hid behind coping mechanisms that thrived in secrecy. During the pandemic, I needed an escape and a better way to cope with this life-rearranging loss. I walked to the end of my street (one-tenth of a mile) and had to stop to catch my breath. That eventually became walking, then running, and then marathons … Of all Teddy’s practical jokes, turning me into a marathon runner has to be one of the biggest.
Boston isn’t about a PR for me. Every step holds a memory of a life well lived, and one so incredibly missed. I run on Team Samaritans to support their work with the 988 crisis lifeline and suicide loss survivors. I run to remind others that they are not alone. And when I race, I always save the last mile for Teddy, which makes the Boston Marathon feel especially meaningful.
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